Can’t Stop The Vanity Insanity

Free Form, Opinion, Poetry, Prayer

No matter how much I meditate on the other
No matter how aware and open I’ve become
No matter all I do
I only see how silly and lost they are
All of them
How much they need me and my innate wisdom
How much they
And you
Require
Me.
And sure I know I’ve earned no degree nor toiled among the ancient stacks late nights into the morn
Sure my insights come from the mirror and the books a middle schooler would find profound
And overpriced seminars I still can’t afford
And no I haven’t allowed myself the vulnerability to suffer the emotional breakdowns and risks I see all around me
But that kind of proves my point, right?
Don’t you think?
The ivory tower of ignorance has a purpose
It protects me so that I may be profound
And speaking of profound, man oh man, the insights I’ve got are good and I know – I just know – like I know I can breathe – that they’re right
My insights -whatever they are – are right!
And I look so good and my voice is so nice and soothing when I share these pearls
How could I be wrong?
I honestly believe in the telegenetic code, I honestly do
Looks represent who you are, what you prioritize in this world
Looks reveal character
You need to know that
And I really, really look good
Like a wise man should.
Like a wise man should. 

 

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Hmm Yes, Sensual Discoveries ARE Still Possible At Midlife

Free Form, Health, Love, Movies, Poetry

The water feels wonderful on my skin tonight
I can breathe for what feels like the first time in years
All jagged edges of my daily toil sanded away with the finest of grain
The soap smells cleaner than it ever has

You’ve gotta hand it to the guys in the Cinemax Soft-Core Porn division for getting one thing right:
Bubble baths by candlelight bring life a rich bouquet of much needed joy

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Capitalism

Free Form, Opinion, Poetry, Politics

Saw me a further flown flower
All the way from Ee-jup
Imagine that
Smelled sweet and acrid
Acid wells and candy cane
Glowed soft white
Speckled yellow freckles and freckled yellow speckles
Pancake
Pancake just burned in momma’s overripe oven
This flower
This weed

A thing of beauty
And I let it slip away
Saw me the man abscond with his purchase
No doubt mine eyes did burn
No doubt
But the burn ain’t have time to blink
For this fire to ignite again
Elsewhere inseminated
Another flower flown
Flown further still

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When The Child Drops His Nap

Family Life, Free Form, Poetry

Exhaustion blurred his burning eyes
Inflamed the crumbling apertures
Rendering all his training and the dreams of success the training pledged in slick brochures and chummy fireside chats
Useless
He’d forgotten how to sleep
A total disconnect from the gifts his mother gave him
All the patient opportunities she presented daily, hourly
And now his life forever will feel this way
Forever
Or so he believes
Truth is if he called his mother she may unlock the secret passage to restoration
But can he remember the number
Or has the synaptic drought become complete?
Oh for the love of god a cool room and a warm bed and a delicate hand to caress his back is all he needs
Mommy!
Moooommmmmy!
Don’t abandon him again, even though we all know he abandoned you

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bewildered father’s bewildered note

Family Life, Free Form, Poetry

my heart swells and tears
as you grow
complex and individual
and invent rhymes
invent sounds
evolve this maelstrom of ideas storming about
among these harmonies anciently defined for all of us by god knows what

the book of our time for all time altered
by this initiative sprung seemingly from nowhere
now course-correcting all that loneliness and despair
my misguided cynicism
my naivete

and so now suddenly I am cast as the wise one
and as you grow
complex and individual
I may now wear these robes and powdered wigs without shame or hubris
your birth I now know is my birth too
your maturation too, mine

and this transformation is the most painful joy I’ve known
because it’s unlimited in movement and volition and so impossible to hold close and still
living as all things do in memory, slipping from this wonderful present too gladly
what may I hold onto but the reality that change is afoot and that you have changed me fundamentally
I’m so painfully honored to suffer the impact of your presence and influence I put down this poem and I put away this poem to be with you as much as I can lest too much more time passes
without me
suffering you.

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Ancient Wisdom Freshly Translated From The Long Gone Tongue

Free Form, Poetry, Prayer

Gratitude, it hath occurred to me
I’ve not courted ye
enough
So, thusly and true
I shall let the floodgates rest
and the waters come
Watch mine ego dissolve in the corrosion
The love erosion
A phrase too easily interpreted in a negative light, “the love erosion,” but in this case you see the love is the actor, performing the eroding action, love eroding the ego, you see, so yes there’s hope here.
I am thinking, just like you are, it’s really kind of cool how I explain my poems right in the middle of the poem itself, yes? Kind of helps you comprehend the meaning, because I really feel, you know, like really sense, that you’re not getting it, you know? And it’s ok. We’re not all equipped. So therefore, the interlude. The education. The lesson. Do you get that?
Yes, ok, here we are, so
Let me think no longer of myself but focus on what others have done for me
How those noble souls, soiled and toiled, made my life so wonderful
Elevated me above their plebeian ways
Thank you, plebes
Gratitude hasn’t come often enough
But here it is
And I hope you’re grateful.

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The Touch

Free Form, Love, Poetry

Follow the delicate trace of the fingertips

One then

The other then

more gently

now

more

Follow them piercing through the cracks and wounds that have evolved with your life

Gaping

Jagged

Now healing

or pretending to heal

as these caresses continue

Earth,

I plead,

just for the moment, earth

just for now

for them

please

cease the unraveling of every moment and let this remain

ever present

ever now

ever now

ever now

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The First Marriage

Family Life, Free Form, Poetry

When you tell me I’m responsible for the pee on the bathroom floor
I find I must educate you on the inability to tame an organic fountain and the mindless geyser it produces

– ? –

Is this really the argument we’re having right now, can’t you just clean it up for Christ’s sake

– ? –

And we devolve from there, the pinnacle of our loving repartee
Clawing our ways to a bottom that does not exist
Fathoms with fingernails
Splinters and bloody bone
Fathoms
Until stuck pigs sound like opera singers
Until f’s, c’s, and k’s fill our mouths like an orator’s sea-polished stones
Until the ugliness of everything fed to us about our gender comes true
Bandages stripped, wounds rotten and exposed
A slow pulsing tear in the stitching of our skin

Welcome to everything your little heart desired, welcome to the promised land

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