BonWagner emerged one dull afternoon in a high school physics class. He soon went on to write some of the most compelling and heart-felt death-metal music of all time.
BonWagner matured like cheap wine over the years since that interminable lesson on vectors that brought him into existence those many years ago. He now exists (finally) online, composing poems, doling out advice, and fantasizing of himself as an internet inventor whose breakthrough achievements the world has yet to recognize.
BonWagner lives in an undisclosed location with his wife, some children, his favorite CrossFit teacher, and a litter of dogs and chickens. It’s difficult to differentiate among them. The poet prefers that women with long hair keep their hair long and never pursue “that godawful pageboy look.” Those are his only demands of anyone.
BonWagner’s father is Matthew, the corporate recruiter we all know and love.
(Half) Truth is stranger than fiction.