Category Archives: Love

in the moment

Love, Poetry

hold me close
keep watch
and remind me always
of tonight
this ease and flow
in the warm breezes
desserts we share
with no calorieeses

I couldn’t love anything more than I love you now
in this moment
I couldn’t love life, god, you, me,
nor whatever god wants to be
more
I couldn’t love history and all its agony and disease
nor evolution nor the seven seas
no, I couldn’t love them more
my cells are not equipped
the butterflies have flipped
every move and perfect breath
another step from perfect death

keep this with me
never let me forget
because at times
too many, you bet
I fear upending
the up ending
is what life has in store
forever and ever
and evermore

 

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Alarm Bells Are Ringing

Family Life, Free Form, Love

Somewhere in this room exists the kernel of our mutual betrayal
The faded breath of the fantasy, the faint trace of a dream for one who should have never slept in our bed

I don’t know who encountered it first nor how nor why nor why we can’t find it now
But the silent whisper in our minds still echoes and a seething hate is born

So that every mistake one makes in the dishwasher or with the clumsy toothpaste cap
Escalates into napalm blasts sprung deep from our diaphragm, seeking, soon finding the targets back deep in the soul

I agree with you that I’ve lived my entire life as a midlife crisis
Yet nothing prepared me for our slow grinding agony, our actual crisis at midlife, our soap opera better mocked when it appeared on tv or in the tabloids

There will be no ponytails or Porsches
Until this is all over

Sadly the end feels as elusive as this kernel we hope to find and squash out
We know somewhere in this consciousness it’s done but we require the planting of that actual seed

The suffering of emergence, the revelation, the mutual deaths of our pride
It’ll be the last thing we ever share. And there’s respect and closure and real life in that

Help me end this with you

 

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Fading Faces

Free Form, Love, The Future, Youth

How do I tell you this class picture day
Some will not make it through?
How do I encourage you to hold them now
Every last yucky one of them
Carve them deeply into the folds of your mind
Produce high fidelity remembrances of the joy you now share, despite the unsure jabs you throw and absorb, as you stutter-step-stumble to find some sense of place in this wild order of things?
So when that moment comes long from now
Not so long
To crack the covers of the album
Or however one does these things these days
To encounter your hair and missing teeth and sloppy clothes again
You can enjoy those now gone
Again as real as before, or nearly so
Because, my boy, some won’t make it through
More than you’d imagine
In the blink of an eye

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On The Scene in seven haiku

Haiku, Love

Red steak and rare wine
Cold rain screaming its desire
Lust, cafe, winter

Heavy pour of wine
The next dose warms their spotlight
Queer looks, queer glances

Converging pathways
Choices guessed at in a blur
Journeys made of wine

The hand cups the breast
As if caressing fine wine
Preserving bouquet

Soft silk on the skin
Like sand streaming through fingers
Their moans, deep red wine

Night ends like stale wine
Decanting hard memories
Please escape with me

Amble on the road
Don’t let the hitch in your stride
Reveal drunken wine

 

 

 

Hmm Yes, Sensual Discoveries ARE Still Possible At Midlife

Free Form, Health, Love, Movies, Poetry

The water feels wonderful on my skin tonight
I can breathe for what feels like the first time in years
All jagged edges of my daily toil sanded away with the finest of grain
The soap smells cleaner than it ever has

You’ve gotta hand it to the guys in the Cinemax Soft-Core Porn division for getting one thing right:
Bubble baths by candlelight bring life a rich bouquet of much needed joy

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The Touch

Free Form, Love, Poetry

Follow the delicate trace of the fingertips

One then

The other then

more gently

now

more

Follow them piercing through the cracks and wounds that have evolved with your life

Gaping

Jagged

Now healing

or pretending to heal

as these caresses continue

Earth,

I plead,

just for the moment, earth

just for now

for them

please

cease the unraveling of every moment and let this remain

ever present

ever now

ever now

ever now

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This Marriage Is Good For Me

Family Life, Free Form, Love, Poetry

There’s something to smoothing the edges out
To ceasing unnecessary concerns
It feels good to have lived these many lifetimes in this short lifetime
And remain alive
It feels good to hold you knowing you’ve lived lifetimes too
And still chose me and continue to choose
I may count my blessings but I don’t always keep track of the balance
And there is something to that endeavour we call record keeping
That balances things (and not just check books!)
The effort keeps the going smooth despite all the noise thrown our way
Helps us find a silence in this embrace
This journey together

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Post Play

Dialogue, Free Form, Love

In the wonderful afterglow we all seek
His eyes open seeing nothing, seeking nothing
He half-whispers to her
I wonder if I could count all the stupid things I’ve said.
Tonight?
He chuckles. In my life.
Impossible.
I remember more of those moments than anything smart I’ve ever said.
You must have said something smart tonight.
I don’t remember.
You must have. I’m here aren’t I?
You’re sweet.
Why worry about this now?
I’m curious. I like statistics.
It seems a waste, dwelling on your shortcomings.
Yes but that’s just what comes naturally.
I know other things that just come naturally.
You’re dirty.
How many women have you slept with?
12.
12.
Now.
I complete the dozen.
He smiles.
How many have you kissed?
Well. Let me see. Middle school and high school were quite busy.
Really?
I was pretty kissable.
But not as…
Fuckable? No. I’m OK with that. I don’t need, I haven’t needed volume, you know? Sex — making love is the most of myself I can give, the most open. This is exactly who I am in the moment I feel the most good, the most me, and this is how I express that joy. This is how I express myself. Only a few should see that.
Only a dozen?
Yes.
That sounds about right
I’m not even going to ask you…
I’m not even going to tell you.
What was your name again?
They hold their smiles until an acausal connecting principle, as yet undefined, compels them to neutrality.
And there they remain, silently, until sleep consumes them.

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